Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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