the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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