it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
