I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
