Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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(480): View more from Arizona

i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..

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(630): View more from Illinois

Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me

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(404): View more from Georgia

Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.

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(312): View more from Illinois

There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.

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(419): View more from Ohio

my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy

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