i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
