Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
