So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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