I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
