You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
