I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
