Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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