Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think people are normalizing furries
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
