I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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