I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
