I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
