I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
