My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
