my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
