8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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