I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The best revenge is premature balding
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
