the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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