he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
