did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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