I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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