That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
