i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
