Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
