You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize