I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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