So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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