don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
