My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
