Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
