I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We're too hungover to prance.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
