i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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