I love black thongs
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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