It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So many bounce houses so little time
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
