I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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