i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
