i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
