Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
