Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
