I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's like iHOP with fire
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
