dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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