In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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