Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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