she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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