Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize