can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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