Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
