I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
