He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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